I would imagine there are a ton of JW elders reading this thread who are currently experiencing the same struggles & can relate to your predicament Reservations. The following advice from truth_b_known will benefit y'all:
- Step down as an elder.
- Stop giving any talks.
- Stop commenting at the meetings.
- Report the minimum amount of time possible.
- Live your life as you want without getting disfellowshipped or reproved.
- Be happy.
- Be happy.
- Be happy.